empty

i.
      i’ve been too long on my own, darlin’
      watchin’ the crows swoop down in the field
      behind the barn. you laugh when i say,
      ‘i can’t tell what’s real’ —recreating memories
      to suit myself. there’s a black fly trapped
      in-between the glass and the screen. i’d like
      to set it free.

ii.
      there’s no way out: caught up in a whiskey
      haze; caught up in a too-tight dress
      and black mascara. her red lips and you’re
      just a ghost and i forgot how to speak. i don’t
      know where i am and you’re still too far away.

iii.
      she don’t care, no. i’m fallin’.

iv.
      my words, darlin’. my bones are all knotted up
      and i know you won’t be there, but please hear me:
      the crows won’t pluck this Auschwitz gaze,
      and lust is just an empty bottle. i only ever wanted
      to feel safe, to fall asleep next to you.

      but my bed is empty.